So Court went as expected and the Judge agreed with CPS that Little Dude should return home. I was not surprised with the result. Honestly, it was a relief. I was afraid that the case would be continued yet again. More bonding time for me only to lose this babe who really need to be with his permanent family.
Even though the outcome was expected it was still upsetting. It was so final. This really was it. Goodbye. So I quickly walked out of the Court room and didn't say much to anyone. Got in the elevator and walked out of the building. I was almost in the parking lot as I heard my name being yelled. It was Little Dude's Mom. She was running out of the building trying to catch up with me. I had told myself I wouldn't cry until I got in my car but in that moment I couldn't hold it in any longer. She came to me and gave me a huge hug. She thanked me for all that I had done for her son. She said she was sorry and hoped that we could keep in touch. She had tears falling down her cheeks too.
I have never had an experience like this with a birth parent ever. Most birth families are pretty nice. Some are upset and given the situation blame you. She was grateful. Loving. Concerned. I think I might even visit her in her in patient rehab program. She needs positive people in her life and I can do that. Plus she can fill me in on how our boy is doing. She told me she would tell him someday how much I loved him.
My heart warmed.
As for the birth father. I am still working on that one. He didn't talk to me much at Court. He only said "Thanks" when I handed the babe over on Thursday. Yep. One word. My tears and silent crying probably made him nervous. So I don't completely blame him. When I mentioned that I would like to go to Little Dude's birthday party (which should be coming up in a few months) he just said a non-commital 'oh yeah alright' I won't hold my breath. In time I hope that he can see me as a support. Someone in the baby's life that will always be there for him....