I got the "official" phone call today from Tank's CPS Case Manager that they will in fact be going for severance at the next court hearing. She opened the phone call with "I've got some great news!" -- words every foster parent wants to hear. She had told me before that this is what would happen but they had a meeting with their lawyers today and it was decided that adoption is the best thing for Tank.
I am so happy to see the system work! Don't get me wrong... if Tank's mom were doing anything to get him back I would definately encourage that. She isn't. Not one thing at all. I am so grateful that our state has a fast track for permanency. That these kiddos don't have to linger in care developing attachments but not knowing where forever is.
I cannot explain the joy that I feel knowing that I will not have to say goodbye to him. I think I have been fairly open that bonding hasn't come easy with him. He's a dirty, smelly toddler who is full of energy and attitude... not an innocent newborn (which I fall fast for!). But in the past five months my heart has grown to love him. To love the friend that he is to my little boy. To look forward to and expect his little face every day. I love the way that he interacts with my husband. He is a Daddy's boy for sure. And that's okay with me -- because guess what folks... This little boy will grow up with a Mommy and a Daddy who love him very much.
Forever and ever.
I only wish that it could happen quicker than it will -- I am sure it will take a minimum of 6 months if not much longer. It doesn't much matter though -- all that legal and paperwork stuff -- because he's ours. We know it. He knows it.