Thursday, June 16, 2011

Loss of Words

I got an email today from Tank's birth grandmother. We email often so that isn't really the surprise.

The surprise is that she stated that "they know" that Tank will not be returned to the birth mom and they want to know what our plans are (whether or not we are adopting him) and what the process is from here on out.

What do I say?!

Suggestions?! Pretty please.


  1. If you already have a good relationship with the grandmother and know none of the family is interested in adopting him, tell her you would like to / plan to adopt Tank if CPS determines he cannot be returned to his mom. If you are willing to continue some level of contact with the grandmother after adoption, tell her that too (this is probably what she really wants to know). This is the situation I am in with BB's aunts.

    If you don't have a good relationship with the grandmother (or have never met her in person) or are not sure if there is a family member out there lurking who hopes to take him, just say that you would be willing to adopt him but that CPS makes the final decision and that occurs only after the court decides that he can't be returned to his mom.

  2. I would start with "It is up to (insert whatever social worker set up is handling this case) matter what answer you decide to go with. I would leave it open. They either want to know you plan to adopt him (and are decently ok with it) or are looking to find out if it is time for whatever crazy relative to come out of the woodwork