Court Today

As expected Tank's case plan changed to Severance and Adoption today. It was heart breaking to watch his birth mom hear this news. She has been out of contact with everyone for awhile and it was a surprise she was even there. She hadn't been notified prior to the hearing that this would happen. As much as I know that Tank will be loved in our home I definately do not take it lightly to know that her heart is aching right now.

Severance should occur next month and then on to Adoption. They said it could take 6 months to a year. I am hoping we can keep it to 6 months. We would love to be done by Christmas -- what better Christmas gift can you think of!?

Survived

Well we survived the weekend.

Saturday included a trip to Urgent Care as recommended by the CPS investigator.

Homeboy (my hubby came up with that one...) is not too healthy. A lot of his problems have to do with an unclean living environment. So we are currently treating his ENTIRE body for ringworm. Oh joy! And he also had lice. He got a haircut -- medically necessary -- and we doused him yesterday and today with all the lice stuff the dr. gave us... not to mention the shampoo and stuff I bought at Target. And just to be on the safe side we are treating everyone in the family. With all this contagious buggy stuff floating around my skin is crawling! I am a total wimp!

So me and my medical administration sheets and locked closet are becoming acquainted again. I really hate keeping track of all this stuff! I don't have near the amount of "rules" that other foster moms out there have -- but sometimes I just can't help but think some stuff isn't normal for the kiddos or me the foster mama!

He did take two naps today and played well with my boys. (Yes, I am worried about them getting the ring worm too. I recommend buying stock in Lysol's parent company... cause we now own a BUNCH of the product!) He doesn't seemed to be missing his family much. Which is worrisome folks.

I already have a long list of concerns to share with his case manager, developmental specialist, pediatrician and whoever else will listen.

Oh, and I think his hearing is not up to par. Like really -- I am worried. Poor little guy.

Every child deserves love. I can't imagine how things escalate to the point where children are neglected to an extreme like this. So, so sad.

The call came

Finally a child actually showed up to my door!

I got a call this morning asking me if I'd take a 2 year old BOY. Yep, you read that right BOY.

I know, I know...

He had already been removed from his home and was waiting at the case manager's office. He is sick and has a nasty rash.

He also has not said a single word. He has jibbered a bit but I have not heard a single word since he came.

He is happily playing with my boys and didn't have any trouble at all getting comfortable. I haven't thought of a blog name for him yet... I'll keep you posted. His real name is umm... interesting.

He doesn't want to sit still.

He's already had a bath which he hated. Did I mention the home he was taken from had no electricity or water?? Agh. People! How can this happen to a child?

I am sure that once he gets some food, water (thirsty thirsty kid) and some normalcy he'll be okay.

Except for that talking thing. Cause that's gonna need some intense help. I can already tell!!!

Today's Shopping List: Convertible Carseat, Clothes, Socks, Diapers, Sippy Cups & medicines

(yes, I already have all those things... enough for two boys, not THREE!)

Wish me luck!!

Again

We got another placement call today. To say my heart skipped a beat with joy would be an understatement.

It was a similar situation to the other day. They had a sibling group and asked if I would take two of the kiddos I opted for the 2 year old girl and 1 month old boy. They said it was still a maybe situation. We weren't in the area they wanted (once again) but we were the closest open.

A little over an hour later the agency called back to let me know that CPS went for in home services instead. Which hopefully means that the situation isn't as bad as it could be -- and that means the kids will be safe with some outside support.

Seriously it couldn't happen again could it!? Ugh. Another yes from us only to have the babes not come to our home. I had already figured out car seat placement in our vehicle and how I would rearrange the bedrooms. I was building a shopping list in my head and excited to pull out the baby boy clothes that I have loved so much from our son and our past placement Little Dude.

So here I am... still waiting for the call -- the one where the kids actually come to stay with us!

Placement Calls

I had the feeling that I would get a call today. Of course, I have had that same feeling the past few weeks... so I didn't put much into it. At 4:30 my phone rang and it was our agency... this could only mean one thing.

A placement!

I was offered a sibling group. They had 3 little ones, of course we are only open for 2. They had another foster mom lined up for the 1 that I didn't take. It was three girls 2 and under. And nope, no twins. So I agreed to take whichever two they wanted and even offered to take all 3 if I could get a licensing exception. I was giddy with excitement... girls and babies at that. Sure, yeah -- that is a lot of toddlers when you factor in my 2 year old and 21 month old... but something about a placement call makes me forget the word 'no'.

Well within 10 minutes I got a call back from the agency. They had found a kinship placement for all three girls and their two older siblings - WOWZA! Kinship really is the best and I am happy that all the kiddos can stay together.

But wait she wasn't done... they had another baby.

This time it was an 8 month old girl. Would I like to take her? Yes!! She had some health issues which I was willing to accept and they were most likely due to neglect and not having seen a doctor in some time.

Two hours later I still hadn't received a call from the girl's case manager. I phone the agency worker and found out that they don't have to remove until tomorrow. They also found a placement closer to the child -- still in our county but definately closer than me. So the case manager could choose between the other family and us. Obviously they will choose the other family - but I suppose there is a chance we'll still hear about her.

My heart is sad. I was excited for a little one or more... I said yes to 4 children today and not one of them is in my home. I have never said yes to a call and had the child not come. It's something new to me even if it is common out there in foster land.

This does help me to know that we are in fact on the list and have not been forgotten. That perhaps the Lord wanted to test my willingness and now that I've showed Him -- we'll get the placement(s) that are perfect for us at this time.

Who knows... Now I need to go put away those baby girl clothes I had hauled out of the closets.

My Answer

So I did finally email grandma back. I took advise from all of you and put it together with some of my own thoughts.

I assured her that Tank means so much to us.

That we are happy to have him in our home.

That she is a wonderful grandma and of course is important in his life.

That I don't know anything...

or at least anything I can share. I explained a little bit of the confidentiality stuff.

I told her that there was a hearing at the end of this month.

I told her that if she needed to know more that she or mom need to call the case worker.

She emailed back thanking me for the updates and how good we have been to him. I really do think she wants us to adopt him. For the simple reason probably that I am being open  and that she has met me.

Hopefully we are smooth sailing... towards adoption. Who knows with this foster care stuff though...

Loss of Words

I got an email today from Tank's birth grandmother. We email often so that isn't really the surprise.

The surprise is that she stated that "they know" that Tank will not be returned to the birth mom and they want to know what our plans are (whether or not we are adopting him) and what the process is from here on out.

What do I say?!

Suggestions?! Pretty please.

The father...

So I know I am not the only one out there who has tried finding out more about their foster child's bio parents online...

It's not my fault that they leave their MySpace and Facebook pages open for everyone to see {grins}

Up until an hour ago I only had seen Tank's mom. I've heard descriptions of the dad -- who they cannot locate btw -- but had never even seen a picture.

Well I googled his name... and with a little scrolling found his MySpace page. He only had one photo up -- but I happily saved it to my computer. I want to have as much about his history and birth family as possible for him when he grows up. I can't say there is a huge resemblance... but he definately looks like he could be the father. He is not the "alleged" father which is typical with CPS. He is the father. CPS hasn't done any paternity tests, the parents were not married at the time of his birth. Maybe he signed the Birth Certificate paperwork at the hospital?

Anywho. So tell me ladies? Do you snoop on your foster child's parents too?

Lately

We are still waiting for our placements. Having just the two boys is easy enough. Two terrible two year olds has its own challenges, but overall they are good boys. I keep wondering when the day will come when my phone rings and it'll be someone new for our family.

Waiting is no fun. I also found out that on the placement list it does not state my preferances for a infant and a 3 to 5 year old girl. It simply states that we are open for 2 placements 0 - 8, boy or girl. I guess it was too complicated to put what we want and it is my job just to say no to what won't work for us. That sounds simple in itself however... saying no... especially to a foster kiddo is not easy for me. Saying no to a child above the age of 5 will be the easier part. I know my limits. I am not even sure why they increased my license to that age, oh well.

So there you have it. I may cave and accept a boy or another 2 year old (girl only... cause I'm not that CRAZY). Or a sibling group that is 4 and 1. Who knows... I am leaving it in the Lord's hands and hoping that a little bitty baby makes it to my home. I love the smell of new babies... so pure and innocent.

In other news we are about two weeks away from Tank's permanency hearing. I am excited and nervous all at once. I am not sure what to hope for at this point as far as birth mom is concerned. If she shows will it change things and possibly cause them to not motion for TPR. Or maybe if she shows she will accept the findings and decide that adoption is the best choice for her son and relinquish. I have a feeling she won't be there. It breaks my heart. In so many ways I want her to be fighting for her son. I love him so much -- and I want her to show that love too. I also want him to be ours forever and we have been assured that is what is going to happen b/c it is best for him... but it is a difficult balance. I've learned not to trust anything until it happens...

Approved

We have been approved for an additonal foster kiddo -- so that'll make 3 foster kiddos and 1 bio. The approval also came in at record speed -- less than two business days. I guess we look good in our home study :)

So now we are waiting even a little more. It'd almost be too much to hope for getting a sibling group that falls into our age restrictions (0-6 month old boy/girl and 3-5 year old girl) -- but that's okay. If I can handle what I have done I can handle three different cases, caseworkers and all that it will bring.

I even went out and shopped for the little girl today. I don't have much on hand for that age. When Miss K was with us last summer for a week I didn't have a chance to really buy her anything. Everything that fit her went with her to her kinship care placement. I've asked some friends for clothes/toys that their girls have grown out of so I have some more play clothes for her. It's hard not known how big she will be or anything about her.

Today we are setting up her bedroom. We still haven't kicked Tank out of there. He'll be sharing a room with our bio son once she makes it here. We want the boys to sleep for as long as possible and putting them together may just throw that WAY off.

I know that I shouldn't be hoping for these children to enter foster care. The reality of what that means is scary. Very scary. But putting my head in the sand and ignoring the absolute real need for foster parents isn't going to do anyone any good either. So when a child meeting our specifics enter care we'll be here. Arms and hearts wide open.

Any suggestions for a girl this age? Words of experience on how to deal with the attachment/loss, adjusting to a new home, preschool, activities, friends, working with the family, helping her feel at home...

Miss K, a 3 year old, was only with us for a week. She was beautiful... but she cried a lot. She wanted to be reassured that we wouldn't leave her too. Which made it hard when I did have to leave her with a family member a week later who she hardly knew.

I know this won't be easy but we feel led to it. I feel led to it.

I'm excited... even if I shouldn't be.

Did I mention we are ready?

Waiting.

Don't they know I am ready? Look... pink and blue. Boy or girl. Just waiting in our front room...

When I received my first placement call EVER I had an hour to get myself, carseat, clothes and all to the hospital. I side on being prepared these days.

I even have a newborn outfit and blanket tucked away for a boy or girl. Ready we are...

Now we just have to wait...

In other waiting news -- our license amendment has been filed officially today -- hopefully we'll be approved for our preschooler girl and our family will be complete (for now)...

well, as soon as the placement calls come in...

:)